Stalk much?

Well jaem, dh jadi stalker ko nie..hahha..bermulalah kisah encik ray kita...well, haritu i googled nama dier..okay, google bkn sbb nk tau psl dier..Cuma aku n fezah came ot conclusion that he might know what is happening..i mean, he might know the fact that i have a crush on him..because, he seems to be acting quite awkwardly..like there was this one time where i was making my coffee and he came to pick up his printed items and he quickly took his paper and tried to avoid any eye contact...i was standing very calm. I mean, i should be the one who got butterflies in the stomach right? The one who got very nervous and heart beats fast ...not him! So, when i discussed the matter with fezah (it does sound academic right...discuss the matter...hahah) so, we came to 2 hypothesis..1) he knew that i like him ...or 2) he likes me. Hahha..i would prefer to choose hypothesis num 2  :p

 So, as to confirm the hypotheses, i googled Raymond..well, i did that, thinking that he might google himself and that the google search directed him to my blog or perhaps my twitter since i did post something about him. Then, it turned out that neither my blog nor my twitter came out as one of the hundreds of the search results..so, it is impossible for him to find out the truth...hmmm,  alang2 menyeluk pekasam, biar sampai ke pangkal lengan...bak kata org melayu kita...i further explored the search to google image...i found some Raymond usher pictures and other Raymond in other parts of the world..then i narrowed down the search to Raymond unisa....1^st page...blablabla..2^nd page...what?! i found his picture...excitedly but slowly, i brought the mouse to his picture and clicked on it. There it goes! I found his fullname...as to be sure, i googled his fullname, and guess what...i found unisa homepage of his...hahaha..the details about him! Well, not as detailed as i wanted to know but detailed enough that i now knew where he comes from...where he works..rough calculation of his age..his field of interest and when he started his phd...hahaha...smart me huh J

Nak dijadikan cerita pulak...i also got directed to his facebook page and his twitter account...unfortunately he set both as private..so i couldn’t view his..i seriously dying to know his status...in a relationship? Engaged? Married? Single? Complicated? Owh my....uhuhu....nevertheless, i was so happy that day...so happy that my fever went away!hahah...amazing huh....

I told my friends here...they were like..owh my jaem u like him sooo much!!! They are amazed with the findings..haha..i wonder would they be amazed with the findings of my research? Well, intercultural communication may not be as interesting Raymond. Ahaks...

Sharon tried to help me to find out his status...she requested to be his friend in facebook...but it resulted in vain..uhuhuhu..but it’s ok...he has no longer set his account as private..i could read his posts..he is not an active user of facebook anyway..but he seems to like food..he did post quite a number of pictures of food...and they all look yummy!!!...owh Raymond...how similar we are..i also love food J

That’s the 1^st step to the ta’aruf session...hahaha..

Hi Raymond, my name is jamilah.. J

Pelik dah ni

Okay, ini sgt pelik lagilah ajaib. Aku nk sign utk masukkan post baru kt blog..tp xdpt..aku guna google chrome..xdpt..then aku guna internet explorer..kuar error pulaks...eh eh..sajer je xnk bg aku update blog aku k topis kan..xper2..aku bijak..hehhe..aku draft kt Microsoft word kt topis..then blk umah kang aku uploadlh ngn tepon bijak aku..uhuh..bijak kan..bijak lah sangatttt...ayuh ke entry yang seterusnya..

泣き崩れる

I always wanted to cry in front of someone..but i just cant..i always wanted to tell someone that I am not ok. That I need a hug. I need someone to pat on the shoulder and tell me that things will be okay. I need someone who would literally give me a shoulder to cry on. But i just cant. I don’t know how to.. i just don’t know how to. At the end i would cry in the office, when there is no one there. I would cry in the toilet when i shower. I would cry when i pray. I would silently cry in bed. I would cry when i talk a walk home from the campus. And hide my face under the hat when someone passed by me.

No, this is not about wanting a husband or desperately wanting to get married etc..but it’s the act of spilling out everytgh from your heart to someone else and cry the heart out...i just cant..i don’t know how to..i often get calls from friends and they cried when they shared the problems..i would listen and console them..sometimes my friends would come to me and do the same thing. They can talk to someone and cried..and they really did !..i cant! I mean, i would text my friends and share my problems and tell them that i was crying when i texted them. They would console me, of course. I would cry to the extent that i feel like lie down in bed and rest. I can do that, provided that there are no one in front of me. Some of my friends, when i told them that i cried, they would call me. I know that the intention was good, but i would not answer the call. I just can’t. I would text them back saying that i could not answer the call, let’s just text.

Ego?  Not sure..mgkn sbb xnak org sekeliling susah kot..jd org sntiasa nmpk kita kuat gagah perkasa...ahha...

 

Tapi xper...because I have Allah with me. I can always cry crazily and talk at the same time with my runny nose to Allah..He will always there to listen to me. Alhamdulillah....

David Foster

I would say that David Foster is a genius! i love all of his songs..i mean all! this is one of my favourite..well i have a few..but feel like posting this one right now..hehe..

TELL HIM  by 

CELINE DION & BARBARA STREISAND

Songwriters: THOMPSON, LINDA / FOSTER, DAVID / AFANASIEFF, WALTER

I'm scared
So afraid to show I care
Will he think me weak
If I tremble when I speak
Oooh - what if
There's another one he's thinking of
Maybe he's in love
I'd feel like a fool
Life can be so cruel
I don't know what to do

I've been there
With my heart out in my hand
But what you must understand
You can't let the chance
To love him pass you by

Should I

Tell him
Tell him that the sun and moon
Rise in his eyes
Reach out to him
And whisper
Tender words so soft and sweet
Hold him close to feel his heart beat
Love will be the gift you give yourself

Touch him
With the gentleness you feel inside
Your love can't be denied
The truth will set you free
You'll have what's meant to be
All in time you'll see

I love him
Of that much I can be sure
I don't think I could endure
If I let him walk away
When I have so much to say

I'll

Love is light that surely glows
In the hearts of those who know
It's a steady flame that grows
Feed the fire with all the passion you can show
Tonight love will assume it's place
This memory time cannot erase
Your faith will lead love where it has to go

Never let him go

Idea

Idea ni boleh dtg bila2 masa shj..kadang2 idea dtg tanpa diduga..kumengharapkan untuk idea dtg pd waktu yg kuperlukan, namun Allah maha mengetahui..didatangkan idea pd waktu yg kita rasa amat mencabar untuk mengarang idea tersebut. Paling mencabar bila idea dtg disaat baru masuk waktu solat..Hati nk terus pergi solat, tp kepala ckp, kalu g solat skrg, kang hilang idea..tulis lh jap, isi2 penting sblm idea hilang..then biler mula menulis..leka plaks dgn menulis..tgk2 eh dh skt sejam..mencabarkan waktu mcm tuh..jd, bila dtg idea di saat masuk waktu solat, g solat dulu..idea dr Allah...kalu hilang pun, kerana Allah..maka solatlah kerana Allah dan kerjalah pun kerana Allah. Insya Allah idea akan ada. kalu hilang pun, tahu mana nak cari. kalu xjumpa nak cari pun, ader lah hikmah kepada terjadinya hal itu. jd, jgn kecewa.

Allah ma'ii, Insya Allah

and he's gone :(

and now he's gone....

i now believe what fezah and shikin used to tell me....he came for a visit..he visited his fren who happens to station here at this building; TE..uhuhu.. so sad..no more Raymond..goodbye Raymond..i always bumped into ur fren, he's my neighbour (office)..i always wanted to ask him about you...my frens told me too..but....gilerrrr arrr xkan aku nak tanyer weh...malu siottt...uhuhu..so, i dare not ask him..let it be then..

well, nice to know u Raymond..u know what, i have slowly forgotten ur face..i couldnt draw ur face in my mind anymore..as my student once said, u can draw miss? u r a drawer ek? aduhai drawer pun drawer lah budak..uhuhu..

adios Raymond..may god bless u...wherever u r...whoever u r with..u brought light  to my life when i was in total darkness upon my first few weeks in Australia and i shall never forget u :) i always believe that god brought u to me, so that i could always put a smile on my face despite of the heavy tears that ran down my cheeks at night. i looked forward to go to the office just so that i could see you.

after my 3-week holiday, i went to the office and...u're not there?! i waited and waited, hoping that one day i would bump into u again and exchange smiles....but....

now, i have accepted the fact that, u are not here. u have left TE building....me..

dont worry, i can still smile and laugh..i smile at the thought of u..i laugh remembering the day when i spilled the water at my face when i first met u, when i said something grammatically incorrect and u just stood there and smiled at my clumsiness..and you know what..while writing this post, i could not stop smiling and blushing sometimes...hahah :)

i wish u all the best and thanx for being my very first crush in Australia..i truly appreciate that..

take care dear

xie xie ne.

Cherries Picking

salam, yup niatnya nak post yg ni dh lamer..tp asyikkkk jer xjadi..kali ni, jadilah nmpknyer..insya Allah..

ok, hari sabtu 16 Dec yg lps aku ikut Kak Shida n family (abg Arif-husband, haris, fahmi n najla) bersama Kak Ummi n family, Kak Sura and family, Abg Azul n family and 1 lg, dh luper nama..uhuhu..pergi ke cherries picking..sebelum nie, aku pernah dgr jer nama aktiviti ni. aku ingt lg masa Fathiyah blaja kt Brisbane dulu, dier keje blueberry picking. aku mcm kagum jer dgr dier duk cter..jd skrg, alhamdulillah aku dh experience..hhehe..tp bukan blueberry lah.cherries.hehe..thanks a lot untuk kak shida n family sbb sudi mengajak aku menempel utk g trip ni..uhuh..kalu x, mmg lmbt lah aku nka gi. maunyer thn dpn..atau mgkn thn thn dpn..atau mungking thn thn thn dpn..hehe..byk nyer thn kan..ye lah ...dh kata duk sini insya Allah sampai 2015..lamer lah kan..tp kalu boleh xnak duk lamer kt sini..kureng enak..uhuh..no offense yer australians n australia...u guys are cool..cumer aku rasa malaysia lagi cool...hahah..

anyway, back to the topic..ok, bertolak dlm jam 1030 gtulah..then g ke Adelaide Hill...kami stopped kt 1 farm nie..tp owner tu ckp cherries tmpt dier xbyk, die rekemen gi Stella Creek..kami semua suspek owner tu x bg sbb kami ramai kanak2, n owner takut pokok2 dier rosak..andaian kamilah...sbb ader je org g picking situ.tp xder budaklah ngn depa.hehe. padahal owner tu x tau yg bdk2 yg ader ngn kami2 nie, sumer baik2 n well behaved..sbb kami MALAYSIANS! hahah..kami sangat menjaga tingkah laku budi pekerti..cewahh..ahaks..

so, we went to Stella Creek..ramai yg amat ok kt situ..sampaikn kami kena parking jauh skit lah..xper, then ambik baldi n bayar entrance fee 5 dollar utk adult..3 dollar utk kid..biler dh yr, die bg baldi and wrist band..well, not exactly wrist band lah..tp yg kita pakai mcm kalu g bukkak pose kt mcd yg pakej die tuh..ala, yg mcm ala2 masuk theme park tuh..hahah..pastu, brjalan lh kami ke tmpt utk memetik cherries...

okay, org di farm tu ckp..ader few types of cherries..which i didnt not pay attention to that..malas.haha..jd, different cherries, different harga per kilo, jd kena asingkan..tp pokok die tanam dekat2..mcmlah aku dpt bezakan..dah lah sumer pun kaler merah..uhuh..kalu lah 1 jenis warna merah, 1 warna kunig ker..purple ker aper ke, senang skit nk beza..tp, being a nice me..i did separate the cherries..1 jenis dlm plastik and 1 jenis lg luar plastik..then, masa aku letak bakul tuh,,,bakul tumbang!! habis termuntah2 cherries aku dr bakul..uhuhu..jd, xder maknalah nk asingkan lg..nsb lh peker ja..u know them best kan..so, u did the job lah..haha..masa petik, makan..then makan..then makan lagi..sampai aku kenyang n sendawa..dasat..samapi aku xnak dh duk situ..haha..

being new to this picking thingy, teknik petik pn xbetul..aku main ambik jer..tp rupernyer..menurut sifu2 kak shida n kak sura, kena petik ngn tangkai dier..baru thn lamer..owhhh..sodesuka...now i learnt new thing..arigatou ne!

agak berat gaks baldi aku..penuh gaks..keadaan kebun tuh..condong ..jd turun naik n turun naik..mmg lenguh kakai..elok pakai kasut sukan jer g saner..kalu g ngn boipren, malu kalu x fit..tp lagi malu kalu boipren tuh yg x fit..hahah..mengah2 weh..nak dijadikan citer plask, aku trtinggal fon kt umah..jd, xderlh nk brgambar..nasib baiklah kakak2 and abg2 ni ader dslr..hehe..jd skali lg aku menempel..ngeh2..ambik gambar etc..depa tag kt fb jer d pics..heheheh..senang..

then biler timbang..akunyer dlm 3 kilo lebih..aku dgn baiknyer explain kt minah tuh, sowee i did separate them but then, my basket fell and the cherries got mixed up. she smiled and said, no worries (ayat femes depa)hehhe..die ambik 8 dollar sekilo...n d sebabkan lebih 3 kilo, jd entrance fee yg 5 dollar tu dpt blk..haah..aku kena byr 22 dollar..luper braper kilo..

lps tuh, kami picnic..nsb baik aku goreng giant samosa ( giant i mean the size lah), sbb akak2 nie, bwk pizza lah..nasi lemak lh..gulai telurlah..meehoon goreng etc..kalu aku dtg tgn kosong mmg malu wehhh...hahah..alhamdulillah samosa..heheh..lps mkn, maka kami pun blk..sampai umah dlm kul 3 ptg..

nk djadikan cerita..sampai umah jer..aku ulang alik masuk toilet! cerah perut!haahha...gara2 mkn cherries byk sgt kot..uhuhu...

then dinner, sharon wat potluck kt umah dier..so, aku pn bahagikanlah cherries tu pd 4 bhgn...utk sharon n hubby, siva n wife, pei yee and hubby and aku..aku 1 tupperware kecik..xnak mkn byk..tkt sakit perut lg..hehe..

maka itulh kisah cherries picking aku..akn kuingat kenangn 1st memetik buah ceri ini..insya Allah..now, some pictures :)