Tuesday, April 23, 2013

泣き崩れる


I always wanted to cry in front of someone..but i just cant..i always wanted to tell someone that I am not ok. That I need a hug. I need someone to pat on the shoulder and tell me that things will be okay. I need someone who would literally give me a shoulder to cry on. But i just cant. I don’t know how to.. i just don’t know how to. At the end i would cry in the office, when there is no one there. I would cry in the toilet when i shower. I would cry when i pray. I would silently cry in bed. I would cry when i talk a walk home from the campus. And hide my face under the hat when someone passed by me.

No, this is not about wanting a husband or desperately wanting to get married etc..but it’s the act of spilling out everytgh from your heart to someone else and cry the heart out...i just cant..i don’t know how to..i often get calls from friends and they cried when they shared the problems..i would listen and console them..sometimes my friends would come to me and do the same thing. They can talk to someone and cried..and they really did !..i cant! I mean, i would text my friends and share my problems and tell them that i was crying when i texted them. They would console me, of course. I would cry to the extent that i feel like lie down in bed and rest. I can do that, provided that there are no one in front of me. Some of my friends, when i told them that i cried, they would call me. I know that the intention was good, but i would not answer the call. I just can’t. I would text them back saying that i could not answer the call, let’s just text.

Ego?  Not sure..mgkn sbb xnak org sekeliling susah kot..jd org sntiasa nmpk kita kuat gagah perkasa...ahha...

 

Tapi xper...because I have Allah with me. I can always cry crazily and talk at the same time with my runny nose to Allah..He will always there to listen to me. Alhamdulillah....

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